The need to lose it all/give it all up.

[naughtinicki]

I started this thread after reading another in which it discusses the D/S world, and so as not to take it off at too much of a tangent, I thought I'd start this one, although it follows similar lines.

The biggest thrill for me is when away on an extended break in which my D/s relationship does in fact become 24/7.

The leaving of my family and all its responcibilties behind. And the ritual of the change to U/s and most promiently to me.

The putting on of my collar, the removal of my watch, the turning off of my mobile. The leaving behind of my handbag, and all it contains.

All I take is my clothes, toileteries, all those things ladies need to make themselves look/feel good, and and my medication.

From here on in until W/we return a few days later, everything is decided for me. Where W/we go, what W/we do, what/where/when W/we eat etc.

And the feelings of freedon it gives me is immense. The losing of everything for me is such an uplift, and does for me, more mentally as well as physically to restore my inner balance than lots of other things.

But I have found that many do or cannot see this as I do. In fact are horrified that I would allow another to `run' my life like this, even for just a few days.

So I wonder why is that I have this need (thankfully for me) now fulfilled to give up my freedom to another. And why it horrifies some.

[lilmisssonaughty]

Quite simply Nicki, because it ALLOWS YOU TO BE YOU.....100% YOU......to be cared for and loved in such a way you blossom........gone are the responsibilities of family and everyday life........i don't expect everyone to understand, but i do....and i wish you well....enjoy......LMN

[Draculette]

I know exactly where you're coming from on this one Nikki. Years ago, I had a partner and we used to do just that. Paradoxical isn't it, but you feel so free! I was single and so was he so it was easy.

I guess what interests me about your story is what do you tell your kids and husband when you leave them to have your fun?

[schoolboy_rog]

I find this topic extremely interesting.
Nicki surrenders her normal adult life where she is in charge of things and enters the protection of her guardian happy that she finds there freedom through having someone else make all the decisions. Presumably corporal punishment is still very much on the agenda but effectively she experiences the warmth of the relationship on a very high level. I find this quite amazing and I have read elsewhere of others who seek this type of fulfilment. Most, if not all, were women and it started me wondering if this might be largely a female/male, boy/girl thing.

I would not want to surrender control of my actions on that kind of level. I do very much enjoy role play and all the consequences that entails leading up to quite serious cp when and as appropriate but I don't seek a partner to "guide" me. I'm happy with a thrashing (or preferably several in succession!!!) from teacher, aunt or whatever for bad behaviour – imagined or real. It's the anticipation and excitement of the role play that does it for me. If I could choose a new fulltime partner then it would be one who was forever smacking my bum and getting a lot more serious on a fairly regular basis but I would not wish to relinquish control over my adult status - except on those occasions when I don my school uniform knowing I'm gonna get it!

That means, I guess, that nicki seeks to "live" her special world whereas I indulge in roleplay and the one thing common to both is the submission to a specified authority and corporal punishment, otherwise our aims and motives are actually quite different.

Man, I don't normally do this much thinking! Praps people will tell me if I've got it all wrong!

All power to your elbow nicki, I'm very happy for you.

kind regards
schoolboy_rog

[roddy9uk]

Like Rog I do not "give up" anything when i play, except the obvious control during play. When I am in uniform in school of course for that period I am under the control of the staff..but I would not countenance any "running of my life" away from such things. When i was discussing just this subject recently with my American friend I put it this way.."I submit physically but not mentally". We also enjoy a few days away together maybe twice a year and it is a wonderful break for both of us but , apart from the playing, we are just two friends enjoying each others company.

Even in the playing it might be hard to say I "submit" to anything as that would tend to imply that I didn't like what was happening but deferred to her wishes. I DO like what happens. Fortunately she likes "doing" and I like "being done to".

roddy

[naughtinicki]

I guess what interests me about your story is what do you tell your kids and husband when you leave them to have your fun?

To answer you, my kids think i've gone away for the week on a mini holiday and my hubby knows exactly who I'm with and where. The two men in my life keep in contact with each other, the buggers!

[CaringHands]

Is how I see what we do.

Those who indulge in role play seek the same thing – only they call it something different. The act of submission in the R/L situation that nicki describes is no different to the all be it shorter acts of role play that many here on the site revel in.

For the duration of the ‘play’, the ‘play master’, whoever he or she might be, controls their lives and they need to get truly into the play, or perhaps live the part for it to be real. Otherwise, as I see it, it is no more than a collection of words followed at regular or random intervals of being beaten.

Submission is a very motive word to use, and many shy from it like the plague, but I would argue that even in role-play, you must have your mind in the right place in order to fully appreciate the play. I have always believed that role-play, life play, BDSM or pure spanking is as much in the mind as in the physicality of the thing. If your head is not in the right place, then any of the above ceases to be a composite ‘whole’ but simply a collection of blows landing.

If what I believe above is correct, in as much that your mindset plays a large part in the appreciation of the whole, then if you submit physically you must – to various degrees, submit mentally. Although I know many would protest that there is no act of submission in what they do, since to admit that would make them a submissive – which of course they are not.

What W/we do in our life is to allow nicki to walk from the turbulent troubles stresses and strains of R/L and real life problems and situations to a state where there is calm. No decisions, no problems to solve, no worries – just peacefulness.

And for that time we are in the ‘eye’ she can regroup, recharge and unravel the mental stresses and strains that have built up before plunging out the other side back into the real world of strife.

I know what we have is a degree ‘artificial’ but to us they are little oasis’s in life, and no different to the true 24/7 relationships where the sub can leave her troubles at the front door every night when she comes home from work.

[Prefect]

When I am in uniform in school of course for that period I am under the control of the staff..but I would not countenance any "running of my life" away from such things. When i was discussing just this subject recently with my American friend I put it this way.."I submit physically but not mentally".

Same here, in a nutshell.

[shyla]

RELEASE

grins .. or for that matter relief?

In my submissive journey and choices that I made ... I find it to be a release from the drill of life.

There are times that you are in so much control that it may boggle the mind of another that watches ... this being in the work place and on the home front. When I decided to move forward on my submissive journey the release and relief I found and felt by being able to just let myself go and let the other person look after me was exhilirating and still is to this day.

When I recently took a Domme role, it really did little for me but amuse and to be honest .. I really didn't care that much to have to watch out for the other person .. that may sound a bit harsh but it's true .. The need to know everything that is going on .. how they are coping with the string of events, swingking the arm .. grins .. and taking into detail .. body language, anything that may go astray, even the blows by the implement in hand .. wrappeing etc. And yes .. I even managed to draw blood .. play ended ... that was my limit .. he said he was able to move forward and onward.

Now by blood .. he wasnt gushing by any means .. but a very small amount was let. I took care of his minor wound .. we figure a blister popped is all .. but you know what?

I would rather it would never have happened .. too much to worry and think about .. it is darn hard work sometimes to be a Dom/me. grins

Don't let that last comment go to your heads boys n girls ..

But yes .. for me the submissive role is as pure of a release and relief from the everyday stresses of normal life plus.

I don't have to think .. much ... I basically just keep an eye out for my safety as in limits .. but your body really does the talking in that one .. I get to fly and sometimes just disappear into myself and my thoughts are not concentrated on the next bill payment or when I worked as an adjuster .. the snow storm and icy road conditions and the accidents I saw on the way home from work .. or the injuries or the people I needed to console because of an injury or death to a loved one.

As a submissive: My mind was all my own and was more or less set free at that particular moment in time.

And at that poiint .. it isnt a game .. it is real and it is pure

[schoolboy_rog]

This site is bursting full of interesting accounts about couples where the male takes their partners in hand. I thought of nicki whilst perusing the site. Hope this is of use to people.

takeninhand dot com

www.takeninhand.com
(will the mods leave the URL intact??!!)

It is free, appears to be clean and free of nasty pop-ups. Enjoy.

kind regards
schoolboy_rog

[lilmisssonaughty]

Rog i had a look at some of the posts on the boards, it is indeed a fascinating site...and well worth a look for those paople who enjoy that kind of relationship...LMN

[schoolboy_rog]

This is one of the most interesting accounts about the value of spanking as a punishment, when we assume that the sub enjoys being spanked, that I've ever read.

Why you should not withold a spanking!

Comments?

kind regards
schoolboy_rog

[spirited_angel]

This site is bursting full of interesting accounts about couples where the male takes their partners in hand. I thought of nicki whilst perusing the site. Hope this is of use to people.

takeninhand dot com

www.takeninhand.com
(will the mods leave the URL intact??!!)

It is free, appears to be clean and free of nasty pop-ups. Enjoy.

kind regards
schoolboy_rog

I came across this site "taken in hand" quite a while ago.......... its a brill resource........ for info articles........ and real life experiences..... well done rog....