Food fight!

[Artery]

Artery, whilst in the kitchen, preparing for a BS party, decides pick up a lemon meringue pie and rub it into Dindy's face.

[little mischievous one]

Ohh tut tut and a hard stare, (as I pour a bowl of crunched up crisps , ( lol NOT peanuts ), inside your shirt front).

[Dindy]

Originally Posted by Artery

Artery, whilst in the kitchen, preparing for a BS party, decides pick up a lemon meringue pie and rub it into Dindy's face.

Hang on - I wasn't even in the kitchen!

[smartarse]

Originally Posted by Dindy

Hang on - I wasn't even in the kitchen!

He didn't say you were. The pie was.

[Roger Rabbit]

If anyone mentions rabbit pie, I will lob my carrots at him, or her even. They will of course be named too.

[Dindy]

Originally Posted by smartarse

He didn't say you were. The pie was.

Well, I'm surprised he hadn't eaten it by the time he and it arrived here!

[roddy9uk]

Originally Posted by Artery

Artery, whilst in the kitchen, preparing for a BS party, decides pick up a lemon meringue pie and rub it into Dindy's face.

I thought the formula was pie arse quared ..unless you are suggesting Dindy's face looks like an a.... but you wouldn't think that surely?

[Dindy]

I'm no match for such understated witticisms.

[Artery]

Artery now pours yourkshire pudding mix down scarlet's cleavage

[Orson]

Forces scarlet to sit in a rather large bowl of warm rice pudding and chucks a custard pie at Artery .

[Ranger59]

There's a proper one going on over at the "Splosh" thread...and that one has even got some very nice pics! ( cheers holly and RN )

Ah well, if you can't beat 'em....


Ranger lobs some sour grapes, and a large slice of three week old Humble Pie at Dindy, who unsportingly ducks, resulting in Scarlet being pied and Morgana being graped

Scarlet takes it in good part, and plots revenge.
"I've been graped!!!" screams Morgy.

"Don't you mean raped?" enquires a very concerned HM.

"No!" replies a near hysterical Morgy. "There was a bunch of them!!!"

Thank you, ladies and gents, I'm here all week. Try the fish.

I

[Artery]

PMSL Ranger.

Artery picks up a cauldron of uneaten cold porage, and tips it down the inside of male angers trousers for moaning that he was not invited.

[Miss_Scarlet]

Shame on you Ranger, you know how long it takes me to do my hair and make-up!!!

Just for that I am not going to through anything at you I am going to crumble up Jacobs crackers and sprinkle them in your bed and in your pants drawer!

[Ranger59]

What bed??

What pants drawer??

[christinekeen]

I shall hand Dindy a cream cake. see what he can do with it -= if he ever ventures back -

and shall pour quarter bottle of champagne (all thats left) down the back of shirt of whoever is nearest - - - - - probably smartarse. xx


off to enjoy splosh ing thread

[smartarse]

Smartarse takes his trusty lochgelly and gives christine the leathering she so obviously needs.

[Artery]

Originally Posted by smartarse

Smartarse takes his trusty lochgelly and gives christine the leathering she so obviously needs.

Artery puts said loghgelly in the blender, as it is not food, and therefore cannot be used in a food fight; then folds the shreds into a sticky toffee topping designed for a suet pudding. The mix is then carefully poured over christine's head, so she gets the 'benefit' of the tawse twice!

[Jessica rabbit]

i think it will be honey down your trousers for that one artary

[christinekeen]

Originally Posted by Jessica rabbit

i think it will be honey down your trousers for that one artary

and a hungry german shepherd? , or licking labrador ?
xx

[christinekeen]

Originally Posted by smartarse

Smartarse takes his trusty lochgelly and gives christine the leathering she so obviously needs.

first time I have had the benefit of smartarse with a capital S

-- how is that in the spirit of a food fight?

jelly, large bowl of wobbly jelly -
smarty can bend over the chair - with both his hands In the jelly,
while I practice my Top skills , yeah , with - - hand,,, and with a frozen steak from Artery s freezer, wrapped in thin tea towel.

[smartarse]

Originally Posted by christinekeen

first time I have had the benefit of smartarse with a capital S
-- how is that in the spirit of a food fight?
jelly, large bowl of wobbly jelly -
smarty can bend over the chair - with both his hands In the jelly,
while I practice my Top skills , yeah , with - - hand,,, and with a frozen steak from Artery s freezer, wrapped in thin tea towel.

I was spanked once with a wet tea towel. Never again!

OK OK, I confess.
Sorry Mistress Christine! Not the tea towel !
I promise I'll be a good boy!



Little S, big S - I don't care - I'm a switch.
So watch out young lady - it might not be me that bends over the chair, bum wobbling like a jelly.....

[Artery]

Originally Posted by Jessica rabbit

i think it will be honey down your trousers for that one artary

Don't tell Scarlet for goodness sake Jessica........, Gawd knows what would happen

Anyway, back to topic......Artery puts can of dog food down the back of christine's jeans to divert the attention of the advancing German Shepherd and Labrador.

[christinekeen]

(its just geting plain mean now)

.....CK takes off her jeans, and panties too,
goes for a shower.

avoids all food for the rest of the event

[Artery]

Originally Posted by christinekeen

(its just geting plain mean now)
.....CK takes off her jeans, and panties too,
goes for a shower.
avoids all food for the rest of the event

but does she?.......
Artery had seen Jessica Rabbit running up to the shower a few moments beforehand to wash off the honey left on her paws after attacking Artery. She had tied to her back a catering sized can of baked beans already opened which clearly she would use to stop anyone else coming into the shower, as the door had no lock. A large serving spoon, (excellent for flicking cold baked beans in a thick tomato sauce) was conspicuous by its absence from the kitchen.

Artery also saw Smartarse menacingly playing with a wet tea towel and taking aim at CK's (now bare) backside as she rushed towards the shower (Revenge, I suppose).

All this commotion was an excellent diversion for Artery who was then able to dip CK's now discarded jeans in fish batter, and deep fat fry them!

[christinekeen]

----while washing up the pots, I realised my double standard - - -it was ok, and fine when the dogs were sent after Art s honey. . . .
so-
so as not to be a sore looser - (!) --

the dogs settled to the steak that had now defrosted.

J Rabbit and C K decide 'sploshing' with beans in the shower is a must, hoping someone would bring custard. , cream, cake, , , , , . . .

smarty? - surely wouldnt use an implement he abores himself. . .

Artery, - well - who ever knows what he will do next, cunningly fiendsih like he is - am sure its not take a knife and fork to deep fried jeans x

Ranger ? , where fore art though? ..............

[smartarse]

Originally Posted by Artery

A large serving spoon, (excellent for flicking cold baked beans in a thick tomato sauce) was conspicuous by its absence from the kitchen.
Artery also saw Smartarse menacingly playing with a wet tea towel and taking aim at CK's (now bare) backside as she rushed towards the shower (Revenge, I suppose).
All this commotion was an excellent diversion for Artery who was then able to dip CK's now discarded jeans in fish batter, and deep fat fry them!

That's assault and battery followed by salt and vinegary.

I wonder who's got that large wooden spoon and what they're planning to use it for ?

[roddy9uk]

roddy, fed up with watching all of this puts semolina into the header tanks and other parts of the water system and turns on all the sprinklers.









rice work if you can get it

[christinekeen]

hand out a dozen paddles, two each

[smartarse]

Smarty knows that the semolina will be strictly in accordance with the recipe for Roddy's old school dinners. So, using his paddle as a cricket bat, he wallops the rice straight at Artery who skilfully ducks just in time for it to catch Scarlet on the back of the head and disintegrate dribbling all down her hairdo.

Discretion being the better part of valour, Smarty decides that it is time to switch from cricket to baseball and discreetly discards his bat and begins whistling nonchalantly.

[Artery]

Artery throws raw eggs and bags of flour at everyone who has been nasty to him in the 'be rotten to the person above' thread

[Lancisto]

Fortunately for them all, Artery's aim is crepe

[Ranger59]

But Ranger's aim is deadly accurate, and he catches Artery square in the kisser with a Banoffee Pie.

On seeing the blood and broken teeth, he makes a mental note to self not to take it straight from the freezer next time, and rings a dentist mate who owes him a big favour....

[Artery]

On his return from the dentist, now equipped with steel teeth (and a thawed out banoffee pie), Artery, instead of plotting revenge sees the amusing side and offers all in the kitchen a slice of banoffee (and enamel) pie with red tinged custard. He tips Lancisto's portion into his lap.

[Ranger59]

Outraged by this unprovoked assault, Lancisto unzips, and inserts his appendage into the red-tinged topping, moving it back and forth rapidly.

Scarlet enters, and somewhat perplexed enquires what he's doing.

"Your old man pied me for no reason, and I'm f**king dis custard!" growls Lancs menacingly.

[Ranger59]

Scarlet is appalled by this, and lets fly with the plate of Welsh lamb and leeks she'd brought over from another thread....