How do I feel

[Linda_Oi]

im not really sure how i feel
although i do feel like i want to die
i feel tired of life, even the good bits
it makes me cry and cry

im not really sure how i feel
although i know im pretty sad
it frustrates me because my life is so good
why do i feel this bad?

im not really sure how i feel
in my mind i seem to lose
the control takes over and what seems to occur
is someone else walks for me in my shoes

im not really sure how i feel
how many times does it come and go
i just want it to disappear forever
im fed up with feeling so low

so im not really sure how i feel
so i dont really know what to do
perhaps i should just put up with it
and carry on fighting through

[lady4mark2]

Today it is your birthday Mum ,and I am a little sad
because I didnt remember the date ,so now I feel so bad
Around three o clock this afternoon ,I saw what day it was
Too busy with life to remember , so now I 'm damn well cross !

How could I forget and not remember ,the day God created you
I knew last week it was approaching but now I m sad and blue
Dont ever think I ll forget you ,you were my rock and joy
my strength , my heart, my passion ,for everything I enjoy

Sad because its your birthday , sad because you lost your fight
sad as my work colleague , is facing such a similar plight
Sad as I cant share my time with you , or tell you special things
I can only remember the happy times ,that good memories bring

I'm sorry I forgot this morning , dratted work and all that stuff
takes over and controls you , in lifes confounded rush
but now I ll take a moment , to remember those flowers at the crem
to wish you happy birthday Mum , at peace now say Amen

with love today and always

lady4

[lady4mark2]

A day of mixed emotions, some of it very sad
Today it is your birthday ,my lovely dear old Dad
Three years almost ,since you left us
It gets easier ,as time passes by
Anniversaries are tricky ,spent with a tear in my eye

Grief happens to us all and it has to be,
it doesnt make it easier ,it hurts a lot to grieve
Overwhelming sadness, because I cannot share
Life and its happiness ,because you are not there

You have a brill day Dad ,give Mum a kiss from me
I cant wait til I'm in Heaven ,to join you both for tea
I know you watch and see us all ,of that I have no doubt
We also have you always , safe within our hearts

lady4mark2

[lady4mark2]

Tomorrow is the day of my birth ,today is the date that you died
Its been a long three years ,many of those days I have cried
I'm excited about my birthday,we were born because of you two
I'm sad that we cant share our fiftieth birthdays, with my Mum and you

A time to move on and to reflect,on a family life that is gone
Time to create a new pathway ,walking along on my own
Whichever journey I'll take ,you will be there each step of the way
Guiding me on the right path ,I will think of you most every day

Anniversaries are always sad ,I remember today with great pain
Knowing when I got that phone call ,I never would see you again
Looking back you knew it would happen ,I could tell by the tone in your voice
To be with dear Mum in Heaven ,was really your most perfect choice

I look at your photograph daily and remember the Man that you are
I 'm grateful and glad to have known you ,so strong , so quiet and calm
Today will pass ,as do other days ,grief eases so much over time
One thing that never eases, is my love for you because you were mine

With more thanks than I could ever express

lady4mark2

[lady4mark2]

I dreamt of you last night, as i lay in my bed
You were there boldly , right inside my head
You showed me into your new pink room
Crisp white sheets and red hearts did bloom

We sat together but I couldnt hear your words
I knew you were happy ,even though its a blur
Why dream last night ,because the day dawns
of when my life changed and my heart was torn

Its not here yet but it will be coming soon
reliving that nightmare of gut wrenching doom
I will come and see you ,one day in your place
Sit with you and talk about life, loves and space

The space I have in losing you , nearly six years its been
Sometimes I feel so angry , sometimes I am at peace
this week I just feel sorrowful ,sad because I miss you
My strong rock , my friend ,my creator , may God always bless you

Grief is such a strong emotion , it can floor you with a thought
it can gently torment you by making you distraught
Its good that it keeps my memories , in my head and in my heart
I will always be remembering those many years apart

Many years together , and so much fun we had
Together as a family , two girls and Mum and Dad
The house has someone in it ,their house now but it was our home
The strength I now have in me , is the love you both have shown

Life goes on without you , the poems will come and go
Inspired by strong emotions , happy or sad they flow
On monday the verses will return, to share my joy of you
A Mother in a million ,maybe lost but always true

lady4mark2

[lady4mark2]

Grief is a strange emotion , it can cut deeper than a knife
Missing someone special , who once was full of life
Sad that you can not see them or join with them in joy
No longer there to share things as you your life enjoy


Happy that your pain has gone ,the cancer won the war
we are the ones that miss you , now you are no more
You will always be in our hearts with lots of memories
You were a Mum in a Million and so so dear to me

I miss you now today ,six years since you died
Missing not seeing you , so many times I ve cried
I cried because I loved you , more than any other
an oh so special lady I 'm so proud to call my Mother

with love always but especially today

lady4mark2